All jokes
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Once upon a time there were five apples Which was the cowboy? None - because they were all redskins.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, 'Watch out for worms won't you !' The first one replied, 'why should I ? They can watch out for themselves.
A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California's apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, "How much are yer apples?" "All you can pick for one dollar," said the rancher. "Okay," said the Pennsylvanian. "I'll take two dollars' worth."
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, "If you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?" Quickly he replied, "If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4 apples."
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.