New jokes
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After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, ''Ma'am,'' he said, ''do all these children and this luggage belong to you?'' ''Yes, sir,'' my mother said with a sigh, ''they're all mine.'' The customs agent began his interrogation: ''Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?'' ''Sir,'' she calmly answered, ''if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now.''
"I've never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. "You will bring me down safely, won't you? "All I can say ma'am," said the pilot, "is that I've never left anyone up there yet!"
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a banana.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer. Really? Why not? Because they're long enough already.
What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
Teacher: What is Ba + Na2? Pupil: Banana.