Today jokes
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Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis? A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the Army.
Q: Why did the IRS recently audit Bill Clinton? A: Because he filed as head of the household.
Q: How is Clinton's health care reform a lot like his haircut? A: It is a lot more expensive than it looks.
President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary's room. She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away.
Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax? A: Because they could spell it.
Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
Q: Why aren't Clinton White House staffers given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: How can you identify a computer that has been in use at the Clinton White House? A: There is White-out on the screen.
Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz. They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known for granting people their wishes. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton speaks up, "Where's Dorothy?"
Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy? A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy.