Today jokes
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.
After wedding a young couple rented a town house in a large complex. Concerned about a leak in an upstairs bathroom, young woman called the manager several times, but nothing happened. Finally her husband reached the manager and, noting the seriousness of the problem, said, " My wife is afraid the bathtub will fall through the kitchen." "Oh, no," the manager quickly replied. "The bathtub falls through the living room."
The young Southern belle came to the hospital for a check-up. "Have you ever been x-rayed?", asked the doctor. "Nope," she replied, "But ah've been ultra-violated."
What do you use to cut the ocean? A seasaw
What is the most breathless thing on television ? The Pink Panter Show !
Why did the teacher decide to become an electrician? To get a bit of light relief.
Did you hear about the man in the electric chair who asked the executioner to reverse the charges ?
What do you call a guard with a hundred legs? A sentrypede.
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener ? He had a bee in his suit of armour !
What do you call a bell wearing a tutu ? A bellerina !