Today jokes
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Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? A: "Dead ant, Dead Ant ... Dead ant, Dead Ant .. Dead Ant" (to the tune of Pink Panther theme).
How do fireflies lose weight? They burn calories.
One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. "But why do we have to hurry?" said one. "Can you read, you nut! It says, Tear along the dotted line'".
Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
How do you find white shirts on the Internet? Use a starch engine.
How does the vicar explore the Internet? With the church mouse.
I hear you've been tracing your ancestors on the internet... Yes - and it's a mammoth task!
I hope you're not one of those pupils who spends all day on the Net and doesn't get any exercise. Oh, no, miss, I often sit around watching TV and not getting exercise either.
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better then the one you had before.
I see you've got your bill for using the Internet Yes, and my dad's really going to get the hump!