Today jokes
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I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
Since you've discovered the Internet, you don't pay any attention to me! Who said that?
So what exactly can I learn on the Internet? Anything you like - it can even teach you to talk like an Indian. How? See? It's working already.
Teacher: Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions. Pupil: It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers.
Teacher: What are the four elements? Pupil: Fire, Earth, Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet? Pupil: Well, Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net, I'm in my element.
What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet? Anything you like, they're not listening to you anyway.
Where does the Internet football team play? Webley.
Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? Because they can't stop saving their work.
Why do you think your report should be on the net? Because my marks are all 'E's.
You're a big Internet fan aren't you? Yes - it's becoming a habit!