Today jokes
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Reporter: My editor sent me to do the burglary. Policeman: You're too late - it's already been done.
Reporter: To what do you attribute your old age? Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890.
Reporter: What made you go out on that dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend? Boy Hero: I had to do it. He had my skates on.
Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable ? A common tater !
What do you get if you cross a newsreader and a toad ? A croaksman !
What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader ? A spooksman !
What do you get if you cross a radio music presenter with Match of the Day ? DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !
A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The weather didn't agree with me."