Today jokes
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A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake? "Hey, what's eating you?"
A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts. 'Would you like a cherry on the top ?' asked the waitress. 'No, thanks,' said the girl, 'I'm on a diet !'
Camper: There's something wrong with my hot dog. Cook: Don't tell me. I'm not a veterinarian.
How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup? Read the label.
What food are you able to can? Cannibal (can able) food.
What food is good for the brain? Noodle soup.
Why are oranges like bells? You can peel (peal) both of them.
How can you make a soup rich? Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.
What could you do if you were on a desert island without food or water? Open your watch: drink from the spring, and eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there.