Today jokes
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Teacher: In what part of the world are the people most ignorant ? Pupil: Hong Kong Teacher: Why do you say that ? Pupil: That's where the atlas says the population is most dense !
Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare ? Pupil: No Teacher: What have you read then ? Pupil: Umm, I've got red hair !
Teacher: In music, if "f" means "forte", what does "ff" mean ? Pupil: Eighty
Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago ? Pupil: Me !
Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection ? Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!
Teacher: Name two pronouns ? Pupil: Who ?, me ?
Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing has improved. Pupil: Thank you Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though !
Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making ? Dad: Why is that, what are you making ? Pupil: Mistakes !
Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question? Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"
Principal: Do you do your homework? Kid: Now & Then Principal: Where do you do it? Kid: Here & There Principal: Put him in the closet!!! Kid: Hey, When will I get out? Principal: Oh, sooner or later