Today jokes
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Why are astronauts successful people ? Because they always go up in the world !
Why did the boy become an astronaut ? Because he was no earthly good !
Where do astronauts leave their spaceships ? At parking meteors !
Two astronauts went to a bar on the moon, but they left after a few minutes ? You see, it had no atmosphere !
How do spacemen pass the time on long trips ? They play astronauts and crosses !
First Spaceman: I'm hungry. Second Spaceman: So am I, it must be launch time !
What do you call a loony spaceman ? An astronut !
I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. What high hopes you have !
If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get? Missile toe.
An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter, "How do you feel?" "How would you feel," the astronout replied, "if you were stuck here, on top of 20,000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"