Today jokes
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Where did vampires go to first in America? New-fang-land.
What is the American national day for vampires? Fangsgiving Day.
How do vampires keep their breath smelling nice? They use extractor fangs.
How does a vampire get through life with only one fang? He has to grin and bare it.
What has webbed feet and fangs? Count Quackula.
Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better? No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
Why did the vampire go to hospital? He wanted his ghoulstones removed.
What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight? Necking.
Where is Dracula's American office? The Vampire State Building.
Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning.