Today jokes
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What do vampires make sandwiches out of? Self-raising dead.
What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail? I don't know but it would slow him down.
Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose? He was a ghoulsnif fer.
What's a vampire's favorite drink? A Bloody Mary.
Why are vampire families so close? Because blood is thicker than water.
Which flavor ice cream is Dracula's favorite? Vein-illa.
What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A bite in shining armor.
What's Dracula's car called? A mobile blood unit.
What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.
Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross.