Today jokes
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Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth? Fred: I don't know, Sir. Teacher: Come on, Fred, it has something to do with an apple. Fred: Granny Smith?
Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed? To feed her nightmare.
Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!
Why are women such bad drivers? Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.
Brother: What kind of sharks never eat women ? Sister: Man-eating sharks.
Doctor Sawbones speaking. Oh, doctor, my girlfriend's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in, say, three or four weeks' time?
What do you calll a woman that people sit on ? Cher !
Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.