Today jokes
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What is the difference between a drug pusher and a prostitute? A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
Why did the condom cross the road? Because it was pissed off.
What does KFC and a woman have in common? Once you're done with the breasts and the thighs, there's still a greasy box to put your bone in.
What did the egg say to the boiling water? "It might take me a while to get hard I just got layed last night."
What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his Whopper.
What's organic dental floss? Pubic hair!
What's long, hard, and has semen in it? A submarine!
What's so bad about being a dick? Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole, your master covers you in a plastic bag, And every time you get excited you spew.
What are the two greatest lies? "The check is in the mail," and "I promise I won't cum in your mouth."