Today jokes
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What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts? They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.
What did the banana say to the vibrator? "I don't know why you're shaking...she's gonna EAT me!"
What did Adam say to Eve? Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold unto your nuts-This is no ordinary Blow Job!
Why do men masturbate? It's sex with someone they love.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down? Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.
How do you know you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
Are birth control pills deductible? Only if they don't work.