Today jokes
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Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a whole (hole), and you could lose your money.
What is the quickest way to double your money ? Fold it in half !
How do thunderstorms invest their money? -In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets
What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it? Money's tight these days!
A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. "Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "What's the problem?" "When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you ? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money !
Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat ? To see if there was any more money in the kitty !
Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency? A: Question marks.