Today jokes
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What do you get if you cross a tall green monster with a fountain pen? The Ink-credible Hulk.
Did you hear about the Irish monster who went to night school to learn to read in the dark?
Why did the monster take his nose apart? To see what made it run.
What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume? He was convicted of fragrancy.
On her annual visit to another planet, an old lady turns to the cabin steward and says. "I hope this spaceship doesn't travel faster than sound. "Why?" replies the cabin steward. "Because my friend and I want to talk, that's why."
Mr Monster: Oi, hurry up with my supper. Mrs Monster: Oh, do be quiet I've only got three pairs of hands.
What's big, heavy, furry, dangerous and has sixteen wheels? A monster on roller-skates.
What should you do if a monster runs through your front door? Run through the back door.
How do you stop a monster digging up your garden? Take his spade away.
What do you do with a green monster? Put it in the sun until it ripens!