Today jokes
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Mother: How do you like your new teacher ? Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one !
Mother: Does your teacher like you ? Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X's on my test paper !
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ? Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!
Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday !
Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions ? Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here !
Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ? Pupil: Hot water !
Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ? Pupil: All of them !
Teacher: What is can't short for ? Pupil: Cannot miss Teacher: and what is don't short for Pupil: Doughnut !
Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia ? Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines !
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment !