Today jokes
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When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays.
Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing? He could really get into the vaultz.
What is the first thing that vampires learn at school? The alphabat.
Why is Hollywood full of vampires? They need someone to play the bit parts.
Why wouldn't the vampire eat his soup? It clotted.
Why was the young vampire a failure? Because he fainted at the sight of blood.
What is the vampire's favorite slogan? Please Give Blood Generously.
How does a vampire clean his house? With a victim cleaner.
Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is around? Because time will tell.
Why couldn't the clock be kept in jail? Because time was always running out.