Today jokes
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Why do people beat their clocks? To kill time.
If your watch is broken, why can't you go fishing? Because you don't have the time.
When do clocks die? When their time is up.
What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower? A bat mat.
What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.
What is a vampire's favorite sport? Batminton.
Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross.
Did you hear about the vampire who died of a broken heart? He had loved in vein.
Did you hear about the vampire who got married? He proposed to his girl-fiend.
Two men were having a drink together. One said, "I'd rather live with a vampire than with my wife." "Why's that?" asked the other. "Because she's always trying to bite my head off," he replied.