Today jokes
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What happens when the fog lifts in California? UCLA.
It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.
I really don't understand why the federal government was so slow to send aid to the areas hit by Hurricane Andrew. After all, both Florida and Louisiana have oil.
The U.S. has only three hurricane warning centers - Coral Gables, FL, Guam, and Honolulu, HI (recently completed). All three have faced Category 4 hurricanes in the past month. Which only goes to show: If you build it, they will come!
Where do wind gusts go to on dates? -To Chicago
What do clouds want to be when they grow up? -Thunderstorms
In the summer desert heat, what did a dust devil say to the over-talkative dust devil? -You are really blowing a lot of hot air
A weather intern walks into a bar and asks for a Cold Draft. Suddenly the bar door swings open and gusty cool air fills up the bar. After drinking his Draft things seem to get back to normal. The guy then orders a Thunderclap on ice. Suddenly the roof gets pelted with hail stones and an intense lightning flash and thunderous explosion rock the bar. After drinking his Thunderclap things seem to once again get back to normal. Feeling rather good at this point he asks for a third drink- ordering a Tornado on the rocks. This time the bar is not only pelted with even larger hail stones but ferocious winds rip the door off its hinges, shake the bar violently and break every window. Feeling extra good and cocky at this point he then orders an extra large and extra strong Hurricane. The bartender after this request looks up at the guy perplexed and says, "Sorry fella, we have no Hurricanes in Kansas".
Why did the tornado get arrested? -For speeding, theft, vandalism, assault and murder
Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished? -In a high pressure cell