Today jokes
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Q: What do you call a woman who marries an old, ugly and poor man? A: Stupid!
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
Smart man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage
Boy: Do you have fever? Girl: No, why? Boy: Cause you look hot!!!!!
Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.
Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one, and they'll use a non-disposable diaper too!
Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: A Cancerian would worry herself to death with the problem.
Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs --- unless they're a legitimate business expense.
Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.