Today jokes
-
What is a ghost's favorite Wild West town? Tombstone.
When do ghosts play tricks on each other? On April Ghoul's Day
Why don't ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks.
What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius.
Which day of the week do ghosts like best? Moandays.
Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread-ged the lake.
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks "yeah, what do you want?". The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice "I've lost my tail...... and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back-on". At this request the barman stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog..... "Sorry, but we don't re-tail spirits at this time of night".
Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane.
Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."