New jokes
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Three boys were sharing the same bed on holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided to sleep on the floor. After a while, one of his friends told him he might as well get in to bed again. There's lots of room now,' he said.
How can you shorten a bed? Don't sleep long in it.
I'd love you to stay the night, but I'm afraid you'll have to make your own bed. Oh, that's all right, I don't mind at all. Right. Here's a hammer, a saw, and some nails. The wood's in the garage. I have four legs, but only one foot. What am I? A bed
A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her house after dark. 'Hello, Jenny,' said the neighbour. 'Isn't it time for little girls to be in bed?' 'How would I know?' asked Jenny. 'I haven't got any little girls.'
Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace? Because she wanted to sleep like a log.
Why do people go to bed? Because the bed won't come to them.
Shall I tell you the joke about the bed? No, because it hasn't been made up yet.
Why did the bed spread? Because it saw the pillow slip.
Mother: Did you make your bed today? Daughter: Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy one.
Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed? Because he sleeps on a waterbed !