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Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein.

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Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

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Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency.

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All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.

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We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

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I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

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The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.

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There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee.

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An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

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Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.

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