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The long habit of living indisposeth us for dying.

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Sex is the biggest nothing of all time.

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Canada: A few acres of snow.

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It strkes me as singularly inappropriate for a school to use its students for fund-raising. It reminded me of the first time I saw a gypsy mother send her baby out to beg.

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We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective.

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If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.

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Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

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When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

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Sleep is lovely, death is better still, not to have been born is of course the miracle.

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Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

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