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Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: in suicide you take it out on yourself; in reviewing you take it out on other people.

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Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.

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Nobody ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have while trying to write one.

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I do not say a proverb is amiss when aptly and reasonably applied, but to be forever discharging them, right or wrong, hit or miss, renders conversation insipid and vulgar.

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I hate quotations.

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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

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Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.

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Morality is simply the attitude we adopt toward people we personally dislike.

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Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.

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I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning.

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