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Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

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Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.

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Fishing gives you a sense of where you fit in the sceme of things - Your place in the universe...I, mean, here I am, one small guy with a fishing pole on this vast beach and out there in the blue expanse of ocean are these hundreds of millions of fish...laughing at me.

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The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

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My mother buried three husbands ... and two of them were only napping.

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I was born because my mother needed a fourth for meals.

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He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating.

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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year --- everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

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Instant gratification is not soon enough.

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