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Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.

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All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

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All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision: "Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What if it rains?"

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All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by the government in less than a second.

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Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

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Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?

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Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

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The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

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Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

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Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language, and forthwith it is something entirely different.

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