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There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.

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Men who never get carried away should be.

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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

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First secure an independent income, then practice virtue.

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Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable.

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I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.

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Some things have to be believed to be seen.

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A cucumber should be well-sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.

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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

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An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

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