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A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.

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Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit.

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The more one is hated, I find, the happier one is.

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Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

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...Then anyone who leaves behind him a written manual, and likewise anyone who receives it, in the belief that such writing will be clear and certain, must be exceedingly simple-minded...

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I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.

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You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

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The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.

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Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable.

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Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived.

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