All jokes
-
What did the really ugly man do for a living ? He posed for Halloween masks !
I don't think these photographs you've taken do me justice. You don't want justice - you want mercy !
Your ugly. And you're drunk. Yes, but in the morning I'll be sober !
My boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful Well they do say that love is blind !
Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world What was I wearing ?
Monster: I'm so ugly. Ghost: It's not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.
Doctor, doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed. Oh, I'm all right at night, it's in the day I have problems.
Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do? Hide the tiddley winks.
Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don't feel well. Doctor: Don't worry, you'll just have to go to bed for a spell.
The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board, but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board.