All jokes
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What did the jack say to the car? "Can I give you a lift?"
What part of a car is the laziest? The wheels. They are always tired.
What is the best thing to take when you're run over? The number of the car that hit you.
If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the north, in which direction is the smoke blowing? There is no smoke from an electric train!
What driver doesn't have a license? A screw driver.
What kind of ears do trains have? Engineers (engine ears).
Who drives away all of his customers? A taxicab driver.
What kind of car drives over water? Any kind of car, if it goes over a bridge.
Where do cars get the most flat tires? Where there is a fork in the road.
What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher? One minds the train, the other trains the mind.