All jokes
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Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him." So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the boss said. "What do you mean, intelligence'?" The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's intelligence!" The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's intelligence?" said the friend. T he ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."
I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than most. The clerk said, "It's made in Germany". I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then". The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?" I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."
Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to buy a chain saw ? He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day. He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days later complaining that it only cut one tree and that took all day. The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what the problem was. The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?
She's so stupid she thinks a shoplifter is a very strong person who goes round picking up shops.
What goes hum-choo, hum choo? A bee with a cold !
What is a bee's favourite classical music composer ? Bee-thoven !
What does a queen bee do when she burps ? Issues a royal pardon !
Where would you put an injured insect ? In an antbulance !
What do bees do if they want to use public transport ? Wait at a buzz stop !
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.