All jokes
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The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, "I dont recognize this court!" "Why?" asked the Judge. "Because you've had it decorated since the last time I was here."
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon ... "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits."
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true. "I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed. The judge replied, "Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days."
The Judge admonished the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?" "I do." "Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?" "Sure," said the witness. "My side will win."
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
Why did King Kong join the army? To learn about gorilla warfare.
What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema? Miss most of the film!
What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben? He found time-consuming.
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog? A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.
Knock Knock Who's there ! Aardvark ! Aardvark who ? Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles !