All jokes
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Why did the ant-elope ? Nobody gnu !
Who is the most famous French ant ? Napoleant !
What do you call an and with frogs legs ? An antphibian !
What do you call an ant who can't play the piano ? Discordant !
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked. "If I told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
First apple: You look down in the dumps. What's eating you? Second apple: Worms, I think.
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"