All jokes
-
Why do mice have long tails ? Well, they'd look silly with long hair !
A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. "How'd the meeting go?" asks the first guy. "It went great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million." "Fabulous," says the guy by the pool. "There's just one catch," his partner warns. "What's the catch?" "We have to put up ten thousand in cash".
How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done, everyone says that his last light bulb was much better.
Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor.
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away? A: Root position cords.
Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison? A: Shoot one.
Q: Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" A: The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."