All jokes
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What is a computer virus? A terminal illness.
To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS". "G.O.O.D" answered his wife.
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.