Blonde jokes
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Q. What is a brunette between two blondes? A. An interpreter.
Q. Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes? A. To remind her that "toes go in first."
One day a blonde, red-head, and a brunette were driving through the desert when all of a sudden their car broke down. They decided they would all walk to civilization. The red-head said, "I'm going to take water so if I get thirsty I can drink it." Then the brunette said, "I'm going to take some food so if I get hungry I can eat." And then the blonde said "I'm going to take the car door, so if I get hot, I can roll the window down!"
One day there was a blonde riding a horse. The horse kept going faster and faster until the blonde fell off, with her foot getting stuck in the stirrup. Hearing her screams for help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over and turned off the merry-go-round.
A blonde walks into a hair salon to get her hair cut wearing headphones. The stylist asks her to take off her headphones but the blonde refuses. So the stylist takes them off and the blonde collapses to the ground and dies. The stylist picks up the headphones and hears, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."
A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were standing in a line before a firing squad. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the brunette yells "TORNADO!" All the people turned around and looked and the brunette ran away. Next, it's the redhead's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the redhead yells "HURRICANE!" Once again all the people turn around to look for the hurricane and the redhead runs away. Finally, it's the blonde's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the blonde yells "FIRE!" and gets shot.
Q. What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown? A. Artificial intelligence.
There's a brunette standing in the middle of a street jumping up and down, counting "57, 57, 57." A blonde walks up to her and decides that this game could be fun. She asks the brunette if she can play too and the brunette says, "Sure." So the two jump up and down counting "57, 57, 57." Suddenly, the brunette jumps onto the curb and the blonde gets hit by a truck. The brunette goes back into the street and starts jumping again, counting "58, 58, 58."
Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.