Dirty jokes
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What did the egg say to the boiling water? "It might take me a while to get hard I just got layed last night."
What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his Whopper.
What's organic dental floss? Pubic hair!
What's long, hard, and has semen in it? A submarine!
What's so bad about being a dick? Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole, your master covers you in a plastic bag, And every time you get excited you spew.
What are the two greatest lies? "The check is in the mail," and "I promise I won't cum in your mouth."
What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts? They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.
What did the banana say to the vibrator? "I don't know why you're shaking...she's gonna EAT me!"