Music jokes
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Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin? A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.
Q: How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo? A: Write 'pp, espressivo'.
Q: What's the definition of a nerd? A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.
Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud? A: You can almost hear them.
Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder? A: You can't!
Q: What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker? A: A dressmaker tucks up frills.
Q: What will you never say about a banjo player? A: That's the banjo player's porsche.
Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones? A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."
Q: Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room ? A: They never know when to come in.
Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up.