Music jokes
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Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.
Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.
Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: Half a measure.
Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please. Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.
Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator.
Q: Why are violas so large? A: It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so small.
Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories? A: Violists.
Q: What is the difference between a dog and a viola? A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Q: Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording? A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.
Q: What is the definition of a major seventh? A: A violist playing octaves.