Music jokes
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Q: What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion? A: A chainsaw can be tuned.
Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses? A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise.
Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.
Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get away from the bagpipe recital.
Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.
Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.
Q. Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards? A. So they can park in handicapped zones.