New jokes
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Teacher: "Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?" Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"
Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of the window? He wanted to see a waterfall.
Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards. "No mis" he replied
Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school, his teacher told him how he felt. I feel with my hands Miss !
My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, "You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate my Game Boy?"
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup. She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?" Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."
A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies To this his friend responds, "Strange ambition to have for a career." "Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
Father: What did you learn in school today ? Son: That three and three are seven. Father: Three and three are six ! Son: I guess I didn't learn anything today then !
Father: You've got 4 D's and a C on your report. Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject !"