New jokes
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'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!' 'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said. 'Because tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'
Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door. Yours, Sherlock Holmes Watson: So why do you want a yellow door Holmes? Lemon-entry my dear watson.
Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile takes!
What's Christmas called in England ? Yule Britannia !
What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song? Jungle bells.
How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick !
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ? Santa Jaws !
One time Father Christmas lost his underpants. That's how he got the name Saint Knickerless!
What does Father Christmas call his money ? Iced lolly ?
I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory.'Have you passed?' I asked. Father Christmas pointly proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for yourself!' he called proudly. 'No-el plates!'