New jokes
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Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear? To keep his ankles warm.
What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman.
Q: Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade? A: The first one held the real president while the second one contained the president's spouse, Bill Clinton.
Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels.
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.
Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.
In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton?" 86% replied, "Not again"
President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip -- a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute. "I'd salute you back, Sergeant," says the President, "but as you can see, I've got my hands full." "Yes, sir," replies the sergeant. "Very nice pigs, sir. Very nice pigs." "Why, these aren't pigs," the President responds. "These are RAZORBACKS!" "Yes, sir -- razorbacks. Sorry, sir." "Yup," Clinton continues. "Got this one for Chelsea, and this one for Hillary." The sergeant replies: "Very good trade, sir -- very good trade."
Q: What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect? A: Everything's $100.
Q: What was the real purpose of Bill's college visit to Moscow? A: To study economics.