New jokes
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After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection - a baseball bat - to the cash register. "Cash or charge?" the clerk asked. "Cash," I snapped. Then, apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau." "Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"
Whats black and white and red all over? A nun in a car accident.
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph? A witch in a high speed train.
Where do ghost trains stop? At devil crossings.
Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along? They only run a skeleton service.
Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home. Ghost: Why don't you take a train. Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
What do you call a witch who drives really badly? A road hag.
Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix? He was asking for directions.