New jokes
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I had a funny dream last night, Mom. Did you? I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was asleep.
Young Vestal was walking in his Florida backyard when an alligator bit him. "Mama!" yelled the boy. "A gator jus' bit off mah foot!" "Which one?" called his mother from inside the cabin. "How the hell should Ah know?!" he shrieked. "They all look alike to me!"
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?, " gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him!"
A little kid is sitting on a park bench eating abag of chocolates an old man walking by stops to say that if he continues to eat like that he won`t live very long; indignantly the kid says " oh yeah my grandfather lived to be 104 years old" the old man replies "i'm sure he did kid.but it wasn`t from eating all that chocolate "oh no sir" says the kid, it was by minding his own business !
Did you hear about the boy who wanted to run away to the circus ? He ended up in a flea circus !
What's the matter son? The boy next door said I look just like you? What did you say? Nothing he's bigger than me !
A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. ' What's wrong ?' asked his mother. Do people really come from dust, like they said in church ? he sobbed. 'In a way they do,' said his mother. ' And when they die do the turn back to dust ?'. 'Yes, they do.' The little boy began to cry again. ' Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going !'
A man out for a walk came across a little boy pulling his cat's tail. 'Hey you!' he shouted, ' don't pull the cat's tail !' 'I'm not pulling !' replied the little boy. 'I'm only holding on - the cat's pulling !'
Did you hear about the two little boys who found themselves in a modern art gallery by mistake ? 'Quick,' said one, 'run ! Before they say we did it !
A little boy went into a baker's' 'How much are those cakes ? he asked 'Two for 25 cents,' said the baker ' How much does one cost ?' asked the boy '13 cents,' said the baker 'Then I'll take the other one for 12 cents !' said the boy