New jokes
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An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander,your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?" The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time?" "Ya, that vill be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before?" The German replies, "Vhy, ya." The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped , "No! We think you are trying to escape!"
A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."
What's a vampire's favorite dance? The Fang Tango.
Q. Where can you dance in California? A. San Fran-disco
Q. Why did the line dancer cross the dance floor? A. To get to the other (Electric) Slide!
Two fonts walk into a line dance club. The barman says to them, "Get out. We don't serve your type here."
How do they dance in Arabia? Sheik-to-sheik (cheek).
A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car... Who is driving the car? A police officer!
Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!
Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe? Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it? Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!