New jokes
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Do buses and trains run on time? Usually, yes. No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks.
Does this bus stop at the river? If it doesn't there'll be a very big splash.
Conductor, do you stop at the Savoy Hotel? I should say not, on my salary!
'Is everyone in the bus?' asked the driver before he closed the door. 'No,' called a lady, 'wait until I get my clothes on.' All the passengers in the bus turned towards the door to look at the woman. She got on with a bag full of laundry.
Janet: What's the difference between a cake and a school bus ? Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm glad I didn't send you to pick up my birthday cake !
Have you seen the bus website? Yes - it's just the ticket!
Which end of a bus is it best to get off? It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.
What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold? One knows the stops, the other stops the nose.
What "bus" crossed the ocean? Columbus.
What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ? The deceased !